My Grandpa Frederick had been sick for a few months and was slowly getting worse. After speaking to my mom and hearing how he wasn't expected to make it too much longer, I decided I must take a trip to Iowa to say goodbye. I have made some good friends here in Texas over the last year and a half. One of those is my friend Claressa. When she heard what was going on she immediately offered join Ryker and I on this long trip. She also brought her son Eli(Rykers very good friend). The next day we packed up the boys and headed north. The boys did amazing on the 14 hour car ride to Iowa. Something is to be said about children, though they may be young and we THINK they don't know what is going on around us, they really do. They know when things are not right, when we are upset, or when we need them to just be good for us because life may be challenging at that time. This was one of those times, and the kids Ryker 3 and Eli 2, did just that. They were patient, sweet, and very very good for us.
Though I knew this was going to be a difficult time, I also knew it was a chance to see many of my loved ones and appreciate that time I had with them as well.
Saying goodbye to someone is very hard, but for me it also a extremely calming experience. As we all know, one day our lives will inevitably end. So, to be able to say our goodbyes to someone you love, and say the things you want to say is a VERY hard thing, but a very rare thing as well. I made it up to Iowa at about 7 pm and went straight to my Grandfathers home( he was in a care facility at this point). I met my mom in the lobby and got to be with her and try to help comfort her in this difficult time. We then went into his room where I was surprised to see how much he had changed since I had last seen him the previous October. It was a shock to me at first, but at the same time I tried to prepare myself for that fact. I got to say my goodbye and say everything I wanted to say to him then. Although it was hard, it left me with a overwhelming feeling of comfort knowing I had made it in time to say my goodbye. He was on a large array of medications to make him comfortable so he was not responsive, but I will never forget when I held his hand, his eyes opened a little more and I knew that he knew, I was with him.
The next morning very early (2-3 am it was all kind of a blur) he passed away. It may sound selfish but I had a feeling that he was waiting for me to say goodbye, before he said good bye. The next few days were filled with all that goes along with a death in the family, tears, laughter, and discussions of the person that is no longer with us.
The reason for having to make the trip was sad and less than desirable, but I was grateful to still get to see the people that mean the most to me.
 |
| This was given to my mom at the burrial. Proud of him. |
You are missed Grandpa.
 |
Ryker with my best friend Rylie's daughter, Harlie.
|
